Look, I made a rape Joke here.
This one’s acceptable.

[link removed]

As for the boy – I am always willing to believe that people change, as I know that I have. From what I have heard through mutual friends he is still a total ass who can’t keep a girlfriend (they eventually realise he is not good enough for him) and I personally know, and know through friends, of women he has mistreated. I say mutual friends, but they have all, including his once best friend, stopped associating with him because he is such a disgusting piece of work. My one regret was that I was not strong enough at the time to lay charges – even if he didn’t get convicted, it would at least have gone on his record that he had had a rape case against him.

–Old Gus

@Ms Constantine – Thank you for the linkage! I too used to make “soap in the shower” jokes until I read an article about the huge numbers of men raped by both guards and prisoners in jail. They are given no support and often are left with diseases, and it’s still socialised as being somehow part of their punishment. I guess it was a wake-up call, because even though there is still a stigma against seriously talking about women’s rape, men who are raped, especially criminals, are never given any serious attention.

@cuileann – Thank you. Hugs are always welcomed :)

@Shannon – Don’t feel bad! Rape jokes are so normalised in our society that most people are unaware of their effects on some people. I wasn’t actually going to write this post after commenting on the post in question, but the person who wrote it didn’t even bother asking me what I meant by my comment, so I just thought “fuck it!”.

@Michelle – I love when people share their opinions, so feel free to! I agree with what you mean, about if it were a problem that affects men. It DOES, in prisons, but that’s ok because you know they’re criminals and deserve it anyway (sarcasm).

@birdie – Thank you. I had no idea that the ramifactions of rape went far beyond the actual act until I experienced it myself. I think unless you experience something like a tragic death of someone close, an eating disorder, etc., it is very difficult to understand how much you live with a traumatic experience.

@simi – I love your comments simi, they’re always so interesting! I do agree that the woman in question didn’t mean any harm. I think my post wasn’t totally a reaction to her but just that I am sick of rape always being joked about as if it isn’t anything serious (like how I am sick of people using the word ‘gay’ in a derogatory way). I agree that most jokes would be offensive to someone and where does the line start and stop?

anonymous commenter – I think you have to be either a very poor comedian or a very good one to be able to make rape jokes. The majority are the former. It’s the whole myth about rape being “edgy” and “pushing the limits” when it is so normalised it doesn’t take a brave person to make a joke about it. One would have to be very talented and, I hazard to say, have experienced it personally to be able to push the limits with rape humour in any way. And you’re right, it never leaves you. I didn’t realise that until I read the post I mentioned and everything came flooding back.

@mermaid – Thank you. I have never talked about it fully “in real life”, only told my boyfriend that I had been raped (and I didn’t need to say anything more, nor did he, he just held me tight and stroked my hair and told me that he loved me). I didn’t realise how poisonous it was, bottling it all up, until I wrote this post. I felt so much better now having finally got it out of me, and I am so glad I have so many lovely people like you, pretty lady, to support me.

@softestbullet – While I was writing this I thought that even if I get mean comments, if it helps one woman or man not feel alone then it was worth it.

For the purpose of this comment, I’d rather remain anonymous. I’m too scared to come fully clean and admit what happened to me, or who I am.

But I completely, completely agree with you. No rape joke is ever going to make me laugh; why should they make anybody laugh? They’re distasteful in the strongest sense and are a grand insult to women; victim, survivor or neither.

I’ll never forget the horrible, disgusting feelings I felt that I hadn’t for years when, around Xmastime this year, I was around a friend’s house, with her boyfriend and mine, and she was laughing her face off at some awful Irish comedian just making rape jokes. This is why it’s just not funny. It never leaves you.

However this post HAS made me realise that this particular subject really does need some public discussion. I was a little irked by the post you discuss here- but little enough to shrug it off in favour of the other, funnier content. Perhaps that in itself is a bit of a worry.
Thanks for making me have a good old think!