Pondered: There are blogs that I have been reading for over a year that I have not once commented on.  Which led me to think about people who may read my website and who never comment.  I never, ever check my Google stats nor my RSS subscribers etc., so I don’t actually know how many people come here.  I never think of myself as being popular or well-known, and I am obviously not (nor am I trying to be) but I have had a few comments recently from people who say they have been reading awhile but it’s the first time they’ve commented.  I find it a bit weird to think that there may be more of you out there, particularly if you have awesome blogs that I would love but would never find out about otherwise.  Oh hai lurkers!

I have also been quite chipper recently, compared to previous weeks.  Maybe it is the holidays looming, maybe it was the presents I got last week (presents always make me happy!) or maybe it is because we have finally got over winter and have had glorious sunny days recently.  Maybe I have SAD?  I always get mopey in winter.  I really hope I don’t have SAD, as that would pretty much destroy my cherished dream of living in Sweden.

I also have this “thing” where I feel I cannot do anything productive unless my room is tidy -- depending on how neurotic I feel, “being tidy” can mean anything from everything picked up off the floor to every surface being spotless and my handbag cleaned out and my wardrobe colour organised.  When I am in the dumps I find it difficult to summon up the motivation to clean my room, which means I don’t get anything productive done, which means I dig myself even deeper… vicious cycle.  Thanks to sunny days I am feeling energised and am Getting Stuff Done, hurrah!

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Celebrated: The 18th marked my 1-year anniversary of when I last drank alcohol.  The photo (pre-Nikon, hence poor quality) was taken on my 21st birthday last year.  Unlike most typical 21sts, I went out for a small family dinner and didn’t do the whole yardie/shots/etc.  I did have a glass of gin, always my favoured drink, and a big vodka cocktail at dinner.  I was pleasantly tipsy and giggly, drunk enough to disregard the onion in my gnocchi -- I usually despise onion -- but not enough to throw it up later.  (also I think my party was held the Saturday after my birthday but I have a terrible memory so the 18th (my birthday) is like the honorary anniversary, not the actual.)

As I’ve mentioned before, I started drinking a lot at the end of of high school.  Partly it was to cope with my relationship at the time, partly because I had finally hit rock bottom and drinking was the best way not to realise this and to start to get better.  I was never able to have just one drink.  Even when I was drinking at home alone (given the fact that I hardly go out, this was often) once I had one drink, I had to have another.  I wouldn’t say I was an alcoholic, in that I needed to drink to survive every day.  I could go for weeks without drinking, without feeling the need to.  I did use alcohol to deal with “difficult” emotions and situations though.  I am so happy that I have reached the point where, when I am upset, I do not give alcohol even a first thought, let alone a second.  I don’t  drink socially, either, or for fun or the taste of it -- I don’t like most alcoholic drinks, I really dislike the person I am when I drink, I hate not being in control of myself, and hangovers are not worth it.  Like being a vegetarian and having pink hair, I don’t really consider being a teetotaller as who I am and what defines me, simply part of the way I live.  I am not saying I will never drink again, but for now, I am happy not to.

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Played: I am currently obsessed with FarmVille on Facebook.  I think I just like getting lots and lots of money.  Do you play FarmVille?  If so, add me on Facebook (and add Gus!) and be our neighbours.  Or if you don’t have FarmVille, add us anyway!  And then get it.  Grrr.  Or I shall set Gus on to you.

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Protested: Last week I was sitting outside the supermarket waiting for my flatmate.  There were two checkout men working opposite me -- it was very busy and they were working quite hard.  I was there for about twenty minutes, and they kept looking at me.  It wasn’t a glance in my direction, double-take because I have pink hair situation.  They constantly looked at me and stared at me, so often that I started feeling harrassed and violated.

I get people looking at me a lot (pink hair) and I am totally fine with that.  I also get people checking me out -- I am fine with that too, after all I happen to check out a lot of people out as well.  I am not against looking, briefly, at people.  It is the staring, the lascivious looks and “Hey baby”’s that make me upset.  I do not exist for people to hunger and drool over.  These two men were busy, and there was absolutely no reason for them to look in my direction.  Given that when I glanced over at them they immediately stopped looking my way, I think it was pretty fair to conclude that they were ogling me.

I am sick of this.  I am sick of men thinking they have the right to look at me in a sexual manner for an extended period of time.  It happens to me almost every day, and I am tired of trying to hide myself so I won’t attract attention.  I shouldn’t have to move from where I am sitting when they are the ones being offensive to me.  So I went and laid a complaint with the manager.  She seem quite shocked that her employees were harrassing me.  Because it was harrassment.  Once she got over her initial shock, she seemed very understanding and a bit angry that they kept looking at me (although that may also have been because it was peak hour and they should have been paying attention to their customers.)  By laying a complaint, I wasn’t of course intending to get them fired.  It may be that they have never been told that the way they look at women is insulting.  They may not have even realised they were looking at me so often -- but not to be stereotyping, they weren’t teenagers, they were definitely adults and they should know better already and be in control of themselves.  Hopefully being told that a woman felt assaulted by the way they looked at her will make them more aware of their actions in future.  Even if the manager doesn’t talk to them, and I won’t know if she does or not, I feel better for having the courage to stand up for myself in a situation where I would usually cringe, hide my face, and scuttle away.

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Read: I used to love reading trashy chick lit., it is so easy to pick up and flick through and just switch off after a long day.  Now I really cannot stand it -- the only authors I still read are Marian Keyes and Victoria Clayton, neither of whom I really identify as chick lit. authors anyway.  I bought this Victoria Clayton book second-hand last week, I have already read it a million times but I love re-reading books.  I think I am probably going to do what I did with Jane Austen and become obsessed with getting all her books…

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Listened To: Polly Scattergood!  I love Nitrogen Pink and Bunny Club, which either don’t have official videos or aren’t up on YouTube yet if they exist.  This is still a good song, though.

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Started Planning: What I am going to do in 2011 (getting started early!).  It’s a secret for now, because I want to make sure I can actually accomplish it before announcing to all the world it is what I am going to do.  It’s not really that exciting so you are not missing out on much :)

My boyfriend got me an amazing birthday present, so now I have to figure out what to get him for his birthday (in December.)  I basically have no money, so I am thinking about what I can do instead.  He insists that I am all he needs, but I refuse to believe that somebody isn’t as excited about presents as I am, giving as well as receiving.

Drawings -- I know I stopped Illustration Friday soon after I started.  I might start again these holidays, depending on how much school work I get out of the way.  I have this idea nagging in my head though, that I want to start -- it will be a big project, and I don’t know that my skills are up to the picture I have in my head, but we’ll see…

Posts -- I didn’t get around to doing the post I meant to do last week, we were speed-limited to 56k and it is pretty much impossible to get anything done on that, particularly the post I planned.  I also had a series of posts I was going to do over the June holidays (haha) but I found them very difficult to work on.  I realised why, so I have another series of posts I am planning on starting after exams instead.  This is all really cryptic I am sorry, just wait until November!

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Got Excited About: Finally being able to buy a bike pump and get my bike fixed (yay birthday money), meeting Beth (I am writing this on Sunday morning and I won’t see her until this evening, glee!!!)  finally getting full marks for a set of Greek homework, getting an email from my dear friend Co (we are both terrible at keeping in touch), my boyfriend being wonderful as always,  feeling hopeful for the future, lastly getting ideas ideas ideas.

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And if you feel like it, questions for you, or you can answer any of the points I’ve made, or just tell me about your week!

• What are your thoughts on drugs/alcohol etc?
• What are your favourite websites (that ship to NZ) that have reasonably priced handbags? (I’m thinking ModCloth prices, not Minna Parikka prices.)
• What music have you discovered recently that you love?
• Recommendations for games?  I like Oblivion, LotRO, Zoo/Rollercoaster Tycoon, Sims and FarmVille.
• Do you have anything that has to be done before you feel you can start on anything big (like me and room tidying)?  Do you have certain rituals to get you in the mood to study/work, or do you just say stuff procrastination and get on with it?
• What are your favourite non-fashion blogs, particularly ones that are not in my Links list?
• Gem tagged me for a meme which I posted on my Tumblr.  Feel free to fill it out and post the link here!
• What do you do when you’re brain-exhausted and just want to relax?  I reread for a millionth time one of my children’s fantasy novels, or Marian Keyes or Victoria Clayton as mentioned above.  Or slob out watching Arrested Development or Black Books.

Related Posts:

1. Part One – Why I Started a Website
2. Illustration Friday – Introduction + ‘Hollow’
3. Don’t be angry with the gentleman for thinking!
4. We Will Resume Regular Broadcasts Shortly
5. Hello July

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