(otherwise known as the post where I shoot myself in the foot.)
You know all those big-girl bloggers who you looked up to in your early days of the internet? They had all the cool accessories, were incredibly popular and looked impeccably beautiful in every photo. They generously shared their makeup secrets, let you know where they bought their clothes from (depressingly, either vintage or over-priced designer) and told you how you can perk up a rainy day in 20 easy steps.
I deleted the last of them from my reader the other day.
I have wasted many words trying to describe why they are no longer relevant to my life. I don’t find them inspiring (although that is often the point of their blogs), I am not envious of their lives and I don’t want my life to be like theirs. I am not interested in having my years filled with candyfloss and glitter. Candyfloss isn’t really suitable for every day consumption, and no matter how often you vacuum you can NEVER get rid of glitter. (Then one night when you are half asleep and need to pee, you stagger to the bathroom, feel a little pinch in your foot, and wake up in the morning covered in blood with a sharp piece of evil glitter sticking out of a pus-filled cut on your sole.)
Anyway, I am no longer interested. I started adding the specific things that I am no longer interested in, but actually I can stop there. I am just not interested. I am not interested in having every day filled with sequins and unicorn magic, because if I don’t have bad days I feel like I can’t really appreciate the good days. I am not saying that I wish almost every day was awful so when an amazing day came along I would enjoy it more. I just feel that too much of anything, even a good thing, can become tiresome.
It is nice that they are inspiring women and girls to live it up, believe they deserve the best and work towards their dreams. A lot of women really need the aid of other women to encourage them, and help them discover how fantastic they are. I was once like that. However, I am glad I have now got to the point where I don’t need other people to tell me what I need to do to be happy, to live wonderfully. Not everyone is a carbon copy of each other and I think that I and these Girls Who Get Paid To Blog are not from the same mold.
(also, I really dislike posts that begin with a number and are followed by “ways”, “reasons”, “ideas”…)
It is hard, when you realise that you have nothing in common with someone you once looked up to. My website is, I think (I hope), much different to these girls’. I originally wanted to write faux-academic articles, but it is a lot of research and time and the only one I have done (about Artemisia of Halicarnassus, my favourite post ever) was not very popular at all. I haven’t really been happy with the direction I have been going in recently, I have been trying to do posts that will appeal rather than things that actually make me happy. I am not sure where I want to go. These girls, the ones who originally inspired me to start my own website, I now find tedious. What have I got to inspire me now?
edit: I have written a clarification of this post to follow up some comments that were made.
Related Posts:
Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.
i feel like you summarized all my own inner angst in this post. i got so fed up with my blog because i admired those types of bloggers and wanted desperately to model my own site after theirs. i wanted to be an inspiration and yadda-yadda… and honestly it’s just not fun trying to be all sunshine and sparkles all the time. i can’t really do it. and i felt like i was letting people down.
so basically, i stopped admiring these girls and these types of blogs too. my blog is now just going to be stuff that REALLY does inspire me… not advice, or anything like that.
so thank you, because i really needed to know that i wasn’t the only one who was feeling “less than” when compared to them – until recently when i realized there is not a reason for me to envy them or aspire to be like them.
also, my URL link was wrong in that above comment… this one should lead to the right place :]
I can probably say that I’ve stopped admiring these same girls also, but I can’t say that I’ve deleted their blogs from my reader and don’t have a need for them anymore. Like you, I’ve gotten to the point where I’m generally pretty happy and well adjusted, unlike I used to be, but I’m not perfect and sometimes I could just really do with some glitter and sequins.
I think I may have saved myself a lot of trouble when I knew from the very beginning that there was no point in trying to emulate what they were doing. There are a couple of blogs I’ve visited that you can really tell they’re just trying to be like their idol and make those “10 things to” posts and you can tell – I usually just skip those and wait for a post that’s really coming from them.
But yeah, enough rambling, this was a great post :)
So now start blogging about something dear to everybody’s heart: boobs.
you know i often talk about this with my friends! it’s rather a sore spot of mine -that most women who blog and get traffic seem to blog about fashion.
I don’t think there’s anything terribly exciting about looking pristine 24/7 , I call them the stepford bloggers… they honestly don’t seem to have any real life activities going on at all,and if they do it invariably revolves around taking pictures of themselves in their oh so well thought out outfits, which they will then spend the evening editing before posting and basking in the glow of a hundred “omg you’re so cute” comments.
when i think of 3 years ago, i used to read a lot of fashion blogs, it was a kind of escapism, i was out everyday with my mattock and trowel trying to uncover features and get them drawn before it started to piss rain with socks perpetually wet inside my boots! when i came home it was nice to peruse them for an hour with a big mug of tea. on the flip side I felt absolutely no desire to have someone take photographs of me working in the mud, in my wets and a big wooly hat with no make up.
Looking back now, I think more blogs grounded in the real world would be a good thing.but more than that, i think that -for you- time could be best dedicated to writing, real writing. i suspect you would have a novel written if you took the time away from journalling and poured it into that. you liked writing about artemisia of halicarnassus? how about a series of women throughout history, in any capacity you would like. there’s grants available, i am sure for such things.
i have cut back on blogging and internetting in the past month and a half, getting ready for an art show-i’ve managed 25 paintings! 25 of them. the internet is hyper-reality. not reality itself, I don’t want to get to 30 thinking “i could have done so much more!”
This is an awesome article & I know exactly what (& perhaps who) you’re talking about & totally agree! I’m sure I fall victim to some of the things you despise, like posts beginning with a number & a few of my regular posts etc, but I still feel like the content is coming from me & I don’t feel like I need to defend that. I simply write about what I know & enjoy.
The first point of my latest post is about fierce ladies & I wish I’d added you to it, because of this post! I’m glad someone else if fed up with the vintage & the astrology & the designer shoes & ‘my life is so great & fulfilling’ & constant ‘you are beautiful. I believe in you’ when the blogger doesn’t even know the readers(!) & just general fakeness of it all. Go you, for speaking out! I’m sure there are a lot of ladies who feel this way too, but I’ve only come across one or two. Popularity can be great an’ all, but I hope I never sell out that way.
Phew! Long comment. Clearly it’s something I was more passionate about than I realised.
x
Amen. SO couldn’t agree with you more. I couldn’t put it into words as well as you did though. Their lives weren’t attainable & in the end, they didn’t appeal to me either. When I stopped following them I became my own person, my own blogger.
Keep writing. You will find your niche as time goes by. The combination of what you like writing, what your readers like & the balance between the two.
Have fun.
I agree and disagree. I still have icing on my reader, I just skip past what I don’t like reading. But I also have other blogs like onely and rotten girls whose posts I skip past. And sometimes even your posts, or one of my other girls, will post something that I don’t give a crap about and will click past. I think the internets is all about digging little nuggets of gold out of all the crap.
As for my own blog, I really don’t care how much traffic I get. I am a comment whore, but I get enough stimulation off twitter to feed that. I do outfit posts because I like to show off (hey, I’m becoming a suicide girl for the same reason). I read a lot of blogs (although I did recently cull a lot of fashion blogs from my reader as I’ve been reading some long enough that they have exhausted all their original outfits and are now just remixing) and I’ve noticed that I prefer the ones that are like diaries.
The rule I follow when I’m blogging is to write about things that I WOULD WANT TO READ. I see so many blogs – not mentioning names coz I’d get CRUCIFIED – that post absolute crap. regurgitated pictures, song lyrics, banal poetry and pithy quotes day after day after day. I’d much rather read Gala’s self involved hyper dribble (at least she occasionally posts something well researched and worthwhile) than that! Some blogs do it really well, others are just so annoying. My blog is a reflection of who I am, what i’m doing and what I’m thinking. I use it as a diary. Sometimes I am influenced by other blogs and other people because life is like that. We can’t all be uber original. There are no new ideas, only new ways of mixing ideas.
(let the stone throwing begin..)
Also, I hate the idea of a niche. How incredibly close minded! Be creative and write BUT ONLY ABOUT ONE PARTICULAR THING ALL THE TIME. Can you say boring? Write what you want. I’ll still read it because I heart you and i think what you have to say is worth hearing. I’d rather one reader like that than 50 ‘omg you’re orsum’ ones.
I feel a bit of a hypocrite for commenting here, because I know I’ve been guilty of a lot of the things people have stated that they hate, and I probably need to focus less on getting *something* posted when I don’t feel like writing and more on posting well when I do.
I wanted to comment mostly to thank you for saying these things, as although I do regularly read the blogger who is probably in question here, I, too, have become a little weary of the frequent “look how great my life is”-ness of it all. I also wanted to agree with Shannon however, for saying “I think the internets is all about digging little nuggets of gold out of all the crap.” – My google reader is far too full for me to read everything every day, and if the first paragraph of a post (or even the title if I’m really pushed for time) doesn’t interest me, I won’t read it.
Great post, it has me thinking about where I want my blog to go as I think, particularly recently, I’ve leant a little on “filler” posts and although my pageviews have stayed the same and even increased a little, the comments have gone down as there’s not much you can really say about a bunch of photos or quotes. So thanks for this, though I still love the glitter despite finding it everywhere!
Wow. I didn’t know that I agreed with you on this topic until after I read this post. But, I agree! And it kind of surprises me that I agree because I still have these girls on my Google Reader. I don’t know if I’m going to take them off or anything, but I definitely understand where you’re coming from. I like your blog! It’s refreshing.
P.S. Thanks for linking my little blog. I am going to add yours to my own. :)
I’m so happy to see this (thanks to Vixel for the link). I’ve been feeling the same way lately. I was so inspired by Gala to start a blog and wanted to be an influence just like her. And she was exactly what I needed a year ago when I didn’t know anything about this scene. But now I kind of just don’t care. All the astrology bullshit is annoying. All the raw eating and healthy talk when she posts pictures of herself eating a big ass burger and smoking. I think we fawn because we want her to be our friend and make us popular, but it’s just no going to happen. I still have these sorts of blogs in my reader but I only skim them most of the time.
I’ve been posting some absolute rubbish lately and it’s getting pretty stale. I keep blaming it on my job and keep thinking when I leave in 6 weeks it’s going to be so much better. And hopefully it will be. I need to stop posting so much filler.
My blog is a reflection of my life, but does anyone really care what’s on my wishlist and what songs I’ve been listening to. Doubt it.
Wow. I really enjoyed this post. I have been having a mini-crisis lately about who I am and what I want my blog to be about. As a magazine journalist, I began blogging with the goal of writing real articles from a very subjective perspective while mixing in little moments of who I am. But the more I looked at other blogs, the more I felt like I had the wrong idea about what blogging was “supposed” to be about. I found that my favorite post were being ignored, while others who wrote these types of inspirational posts or posted about their new dress, or did self-status type blogs had dozens of comments. So I tried a couple. I did get a better response, but I didn’t feel comfortable with it. As a result, I lost a lot of my original enthusiasm for my blog. Now, I’m trying a new technique for both my life and my blog. Yesterday, I decided to challenge myself to be myself, without preconditions as to who I am “supposed” to be. I even made a cute button. (Now you know I’m serious!) You can grab it at my site if you want to join me! Great post! It’s wonderful to see such a great discussion going on.
I’ve been waiting for someone with enough balls to say what you have said. I started out reading (the person we dare not speak of)’s site and loved it, but after a while it started to make me feel worse and worse about myself because I don’t have an amazing life like the unmentionable person.
I was hesitant to start my own blog because I know that I can be boring at times, but in reality my site is not so much for other people, but for me to put what I am interested in/thinking/doing where I can see it. If other people comment, that’s okay with me. If they don’t, I don’t have a cry over it.
I only post when I feel like posting and when I feel that my content is something *I* would want to read.
I am even contemplating putting a disclaimer on my blog that I am at times highly mundane and boring to the average female. But I don’t give a fuck. I just like having my own online place to store my thoughts/interests/photography/ramblings.
@mermaid – I find it way more inspiring to read about people who have troubles and problems and who show how they work through them. I’m glad for you that you decided to end your blog, since it obviously wasn’t a positive thing for you anymore. But don’t abandon us altogether Mermaid, I love reading your words and seeing your photos!
@Edith – Everyone needs some lovely in their lives, I agree! It was just getting a bit too muchy for me. I do think it’s sad, that these women are pushing for everyone to be individual, and all some people can do is copy them because they haven’t found their individuality. Hopefully through the process though, they can find themselves!
@kim annabella – It’s pretty much a miracle that I can even get dressed in the morning, let alone look fantastic, so this is definitely not going to be a fashion blog! One of the reasons I started a website was because I found I spent hours randomly browsing the internet and never any time writing! It’s something I really need to work at, to stop wasting time. I have always wanted to write a novel, and I used to write a lot when I was younger. By starting a blog, I wanted to get back into the habit of writing anything so I could then get into the habit of writing SOMETHING. That’s fallen by the wayside in the past few weeks, however (naughty!)
I originally intended to do a ‘Women through History’ series, but the interest in the first one was so poor I got disheartened. I think I should just not care what other people think and do what I love, though, which me realising this fact is what this post was partly about.
@Aimee Marie – It seems a few people feel more passionately about this than they realised! That’s the best thing about the internet – you can write what you like and someone will like it. My main gripe against “ten things” posts is that it is often seems to be used when the writer doesn’t know what to write but feels like they have to write SOMETHING. I’ve certainly enjoyed a few list posts otherwise! And I agree with the blogger not knowing the audience – how CAN you know me and what is best for me when you have never met me!
@Bambola – Thank you, I think that it is the first step and where I started going wrong – I tried to write what I thought would appeal, and not what I personally enjoyed. And that is when the fun went out of writing.
@Shannon – Yes but we don’t want to see your outfits when you post, we just want to see more of your hot body! (um or is that just me being a perv…?) And yeah how boring always writing about the same thing?! I definitely want to avoid writing in a niche, no matter what the pro-bloggers say. I’m not looking to make money after all!
AAARRRRGGGGHHHHHH I accidentally deleted all the comments I just spent twenty minutes making… start again :(
@Vixel – I agree, sometimes I think “why do I have this blog in my reader..” and then they come up with an amazing post that makes all the rest worth it. Everyone needs glitter in their lives, definitely :D I am following your progress of changing up your blog a little, and I find it really interesting the methods you’re using. I like that you want to keep it something you love and enjoy, but are also aware of your audience and their reception. I am enjoying your admin posts (haha) and I am looking forward to seeing where you go from here!
@Emily Abigail – Thank you, I love getting my dose of pretty and interesting from your blog!
@Ms Constantine – Being popular is boring anyway, you have to start being hyper-aware of your image with the fear that you’ll lose you place at the top! Once blogging becomes a chore, it loses its joy, so I am sorry you’re feeling that way. It’s hard to blog when you don’t want to, but feel you have to in case people start losing interest. I hope you start getting back into your groove when you’re feeling better about life!
@Kitty – That is what I have learnt as well – sure you may get better hits and comments when you do things that appeal, but at the end of the day it’s not really what I wanted and envisioned, and so it doesn’t make me happy. What makes me mad is that I don’t think blogging, in general, is “supposed” to be like anything, but for a 20-something white female it is “supposed” to be about this. Women are conditioned to be pack animals, and if you dare to be interested in something other than the rest of the group you run the risk of being ostracised. This is what makes it so difficult to NOT do fashiony photo blogs, and I am glad you are getting back to what you love and not what may appeal. It will pay off :D
@red neon hearts – Don’t do that, you will be surprised what people find interesting! I think I have a really boring life, and probably so do most people who blog. It is just the fact that it is not THEIR OWN life that attracts readers. Some of the most interesting people I read live typically tedious lives, but they write about them in a funny, engaging way. I find it more entertaining to read about someone who is rather mundane, as I can relate to them better than someone who leads an adventurous life. You are doing what I want to do – just post about what YOU find interesting and what makes YOU happy!