This is how I feel at the moment.  I don’t write ranty angry feministy posts anymore, which seemed to be my most popular posts that I used to write, because I am just not feeling ranty or angry anymore.  I can’t summon up the passion I need to write things like that.  I am also getting bored with the internet, I have been cutting down my rss feed as much as possible, my livejournal communities, and so forth.  I have waaaaaaaay too much stuff to do this semester.  I am doing five subjects, three of which are languages, and I am in the Egyptological club, intend on joining the French club, and am the vice-president of the Classics Society.  WHICH YOU CAN JOIN even if you’re not a University of Auckland student so you totes should, we have super fun times.  ALSO if you are in Wellington for Easter Weekend, we will be going to the Pompeii exhibition and not only will I have distinctive pink hair but I will ALSO be dressing up in a chiton (I’m more into Greeks than Romans) that my clever mummy made me SOOOOOOOOOO it would be nice to see any other people.  Also we will be having dinner at a restaurant somewhere in town that night, any suggestions?  The more the merrier so people are welcome to come along.

I am getting distracted!  Anyways I had figured out when all my assignments were due and what exactly I have to do this semester, and was having a quiet panic attack about it (I am ok now, my Worry book is working well and I am feeling remarkably calm about life at the moment) when I overhead two stage one students like talking about how like omg their first semester was going to be like so intense and they’ve got so much work and I felt like laughing hysterically in their faces.  Sweet, naïve dears.  My classes are, on the whole, ok, although there is one that I am in absolute terror over because I have so much work to do just to get to the level required in the course, let alone the actual coursework and progression over the semester.  It’s ok, I will be ok.

I’ve spent my free time this week Manning The Classoc/AUEA stall in the quad.  It is funny how excited people get when you write their name in ancient greek or hieroglyphs on their membership card.  Also it is interesting to watch all the students walking by, you can pick who are the first years because the girls talking really loudly and wear skanky clothes and lots of make-up, and the boys look like total douchebags.  I judge too much.

I wore a dress my mother made me on the first day.  If you think it looks familiar, it does, she had tons of left-over material from my princess dress so she made me another:

We were also in the middle of a triangle made up of the Labour stand, the National stand, and New Zealand First.  I don’t think anyone would be surprised to know that the National stand was the poshest.  We also had a huge poster of John Key (NZ’s prime minister) staring at us all day, and then – surprises! – the pleasure of his ACTUAL COMPANY.  I wanted to get my photo with him because the only people I know who vote national are pensioners, but he was surrounded by ass-lickers so I asked one of the student representatives to swing him by the Classoc/AUEA booth before he left.  (these photos are taken on an iphone, so hence a little grainy.)

The wallies from unite were there to protest minimum wage.  There were more protestors than diplomatic protection/police/security officers.  Welcome to New Zealand.

The explanation of this photo (to a facebook friend who lol’d at my expression):  I was going to make a frowny face because I voted Labour but he’s a really nice guy so that damn New Zealand politeness kicked in and this is what was birthed.

Damn New Zealand politeness!  It can be so crippling at times.  He was really nice though, and told me about his daughter who used to have pink hair like me.  In case you’re interested, Labour is ‘liberal’ and National ‘conservative’, although absolutely not even in the same league as Democrats/Republicans.  All we argue about is tax-cuts, GST, selling government-owned stuff like public transport and benefits.  I think that about covers it.

I also came to realise just how lovely it would be to come home to snuggles, and to tell André all about my day and to cook dinner and do homey things.  One day when finances allow.

I forgot to get a photo of the box, but we on the Classoc/AUEA stall chowed through a container of rocket sticks this week, which are the most delicious wafery tubes of chocolatey goodness:

Ergh I was also going to talk about my dietary changes (not a diet!) but I can’t be bothered, it’s not that interesting, I am just trying to teach myself portion control and to actually deal with my emotions rather than eat them.  I used to dislike sushi because it was never “enough” and I was always still hungry, but I’ve been eating it all week because my body has adjusted to eating less (but enough) food:

Omomnom.

Lastly I’ve started playing WoW again with three other people from university (Sam and Lawrence featured in above photos, and another guy) so now life will be University > WoW > everything else on the internet, including this website and tumblr.  This makes me happy.

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Hello Kitty Online is an MMORPG based on Hello Kitty and other Sanrio characters. To quote from the official website, it is, “the first MMORPG to integrate social networking web services into the game experience.” It is currently free-to-play, with an Item Mall where you can purchase items with Loyalty points, earned through in-game interactions (more on that later). In the future, it is planned that one will also be able to purchase in-game items with real money.

There are several regional distributers, North America, Europe, Phillippines, Brazil, Indonesia and Singapore and Malaysia. I play on the North America server, so for the purposes of this review everything I say specifically pertains to the North America server. The North American region has only one server, so you can get an idea of how many people are actually playing.

On the wiki and forums, apparently HKO is still in open Beta.  I can’t find information about this on the official website, but it has been mentioned by other players a couple of times.

Social Interactions

To interact with other players, you right-click on them and choose from a list of options. As previously mentioned, HKO incorporates a number of ’social interactions’ that aren’t traditionally in MMOs, and these are available through player interactions.  (black text added by me.)

Info = other player information (level, what items they’re wearing and so forth.)  Add friend = add as friend, trade = trading items, follow = you follow them as the move around, email = send them an email, blog = view their blog, video = view their videos, group = join a group with them to do group quests.

When you sign up, you automatically receive an email ending in hellokitty.com, mymelody.com, or kuririnmail.com. You can use this email as a normal email, logging in on the Sanrio website, but you also get notifications in-game, and you can read and send emails in-game. When you bring up the player interactions, you can choose to send another player an email (rather than sending them a private message.)

You also automatically receive a blog, and have the ability to make videos in-game. You can also read other people’s blogs in-game.

There is, of course, the usual guild system, which works much the same way as traditional MMO guilds. You can found one at level twenty, and it costs 30,000 coins.

MMORPG Aspect

For those who don’t know, ‘MMORPG’ mean ‘massively multiplayer online role-playing game’. Games like World of Warcraft, Age of Conan and City of Heroes are typical MMOs.

HKO is definitely not a traditional MMO.  Of course, you need to be connected to the internet to play it, and there is interaction between players if you choose to do so. There is progression in that there is leveling and there is a main storyline. It is pretty tenuous and not as well-realised as it could be – Hello Kitty has disappeared and lots of other Sanrio characters are locked inside their houses and have fallen asleep and that’s about it.  Yes, I am serious.

Apart from the fact that everything is pink, HKO differs from traditional MMOs in that questing and killing monsters are not the main ways of gaining XP (experience points.) You do gain a measure of XP from quest completion, but you don’t gain any from killing monsters – and in fact, you don’t actually kill monsters, you bop them until they are dizzy and then they fall asleep for a while. Most monsters have a short aggro range, and there are no death penalties. You are instead sent to the last town you were in with 0 health.  You gain XP from gathering from various natural resources, and from crafting. There is no specialised resource-gathering or crafting, everyone can do everything.  You are limited by the level of ability but that’s it.

As there isn’t a history or lore surrounding HKO, there is not much roleplaying, people are generally just ‘themselves’ in-game. There are a wide variety of players, from young kids to married adults with kids. My short stint in a guild began with two sisters, one thirteen, the other a bit younger, bragging about how one travelled with Miley Cyrus and the other with Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato. I have nO dOUT dat dey wer 13!!!!11!!!!111 but the rest was pretty lulsy. Once they’d gone offline, the rest of us started chatting, and I was actually the youngest of the other guild-members talking. The other women were taking a break from games like WoW, and indeed I think this is the best thing about HKO – if you’re in the mood for gaming, but don’t feel like taxing your brain, HKO is perfect.

MMOs are traditionally known for their… immature players. The only difference between regular MMO jerks and HKO players is that at least HKO players can beg actual age as a reason for their immature and offensive behaviour. I have never seen anyone saying anything offensive in world chat, but I quickly grew sick of my guild. I logged on another time to hear a (young) guild-member joking about how her dad would never play HKO because he wasn’t a homosexual, so I ripped her another one for that. The final straw was one time I logged in, apparently a few members were trying to get around the profanity filter, so the first word on my screen was ra*pe. I immediately left, and later on made my own hardcore raiding guild for the lulz:

Ceiling Kat being the top rank (therefore, me.)  Gus and I are the only members at the moment and I am fine with that, as I am essentially a soloer. HKO is very conducive to solo play, however in the recent Valentine’s Celebrations a new mechanic was introduced, group play (seen above in player interactions.) There were group quests during the celebrations, and the mechanic has remained, which makes the possibility of group play in future likely. HKO does not, nor never will, have PvP (thank lordy, I loathe PvP.)

Quests

Questing is essentially linear. You may have times when you have several quests at once, but these are often when you have just arrived in a city and need to craft a new wand or gathering tool. This can be really frustrating, particularly if you have a quest to gather x amount of y from a particular type of mob, and it is a few levels higher than you so you have to take FOREVER to recover between each mob. In one respect, HKO is the same as every other MMO – grinding, and if you jump on the forums and there are plenty of people bitching about the lack of end-game content…

Game Play

Game play is hit-your-head-against-the-wall frustrating. It is very difficult to describe how annoyingly difficult it can be to kill something. You need to right-click on a mob to start hitting it. Simple, right? But what about when it’s moving quite fast, and you need to hit it exactly, and it is very small to begin with? Throw in the fact that about half the time it seems the game doesn’t realise you’ve actually hit the darn thing, to the fact that the game has a fixed camera and a mob you can’t see because it’s behind something can see and hit you, to the fact that you can also right-click on yourself, your pet, and a resource, and then need to left-click to get rid of the menu… these things stack up, and make me wonder why anyone would think a seven-year-old could master this mechanism. Unfortunately there is no keyboard short-cut targeting system, and goodness gracious I wish there was, it would have saved me dying a squillion times.

Otherwise the game is fairly straight-forward. Movement isn’t with the arrow or wasd keys, instead you left-click on the space you want to go. I get pain in my hand if I use a mouse too much, but this doesn’t seem as hard on my hand as I thought it would be. Many things, such as maps and the character screen, are bound to keyboard keys, and everything is easily acessed from a side-bar.

The World

HKO is based in Hello Kitty Land. One starts off in the newbie area, Sanrio Harbour, and from there moves through various cities and their out-lying areas – Florapolis, London, Paris and Beijing. Aside from running, one can get from one city to another via a train, the Sanrio Express, however your ticket is only valid every 48 hours. The world is still small, however – it took me about seven minutes to run from the starter area to the highest-level city, Beijing, a far cry from the huge distances in traditional MMOs.

Visiting the Moulin Rouge in Paris.

Mini-Games

Another aspect of questing is the mini-games. Occasionally you will be taken to a mini-game in order to complete a quest – they are pretty much a small game like tetris or bejewelled (but neither of those are in the game) that you need to win in order to finish a quest. For example, one quest giver is tired, so you need to complete a mini game and make him a certain amount of coffee to wake him up. My boyfriend’s quote upon watching me try and complete this (surprisingly difficult!) game – “What. The. Shit.”

Graphics

While all the graphics are in 3D, the camera has a fixed angle, so you only ever see things on one plane.  There is no first-person view and so forth, and you can’t zoom in or out or pan. Additionally, you have two screen dimensions to choose from, 800×600 or 1024×768. You can choose between windowed mode (very handy) or full-screen, and obviously if your screen is bigger than 1024×768, it will stretch to fit, however the graphics will begin pixellating.

As you would expect, Hello Kitty Online is filled with pastel colours and smiling angels. It is really pretty. The graphics may be “simple”, but they are all well-done, crisp and clear, and I don’t find it too saccharine. There is occasionally clipping, particularly with wands, and some graphics bugs that REALLY annoy me. For example, if you have a special wig, but are wearing a head-piece, in your character screen (not in-game) you are shown as being bald or with the default hair. This sounds like a really petty complaint, but I like to pick on the minutiae.

Sounds

The music fits the graphics, and are themed for the cities and I do quite enjoy most of the music. Each of the pieces, however, are far too short, so I find myself turning my sound off after the fifth repetition of a Handel rip-off in London. The music that is played in the train-station is amazing, however, and makes me lol every time.

Character Customisation

There is a cosmetic system in HKO. You can purchase wigs and change them out for your real hair, and in your character panel you have slots for pants, a shirt, shoes, a wand, a hat, a necklace, earrings and eyewear. These are “combat” items, each item has a certain level and certain stats to boost your base states. There are cosmetic slots for the wand, pants, shirt and shoes, but weirdly and annoyingly not for the eyewear, the hat or the jewellery. Why not go all the way? Why stop there? Additionally, combat items may only be placed in the combat slots, not the cosmetic slot, and there is no way you can convert them or buy the same image. I like the character customisation, but it does leave a lot to be desired.

On the left, top to bottom:  headgear slot, eyeglass slot, beard slot, earring slot, necklace slot, crafting items.  On the right, top to bottom:  combat top, bottom, footwear and wand, cosmetic top, bottom, footwear and wand.  The basket of baguettes is my cosmetic wand and what I bop monsters with.

Currently, one can tailor or make combat items, but cosmetic items are only able to be bought from merchants or the Item Mall, received from quests or won through regular competitions held by the GMs.

Housing and Farms

Every player can get their own farm, where they can grow crops for food, to build items or for quests. There are three different levels of farms, 1, 4 and 8. You need to get your farm level up to, for example, level 4 (achieved through planting crops) and then upgrade your farm to a level 4 farm in order to plant level 4 and above crops. In London, you need to have a level 4 farm in order to grow some of the crops needed for quests. A recent patch, however, seems to have removed the farm certificates of 4 and 8, which enabled you to upgrade. The only way you can upgrade to a level 4 farm now is to purchase one from the Item Mall, using Loyalty Points. LP are pretty hard to get, however, which means a lot of people are unable to progress past London. Level 8 farms aren’t available even in the Item Mall, which means I can’t plant level 8 crops or build a level 8 house, as I only have a level 4 farm. This is, of course, a real inconvenience, and is prompting people on the forums to say that HKO should be changed to “Free to play – up to a certain point” because if you don’t have a level 4 farm and you don’t know anyone who does, who can grow crops for you, you get stuck in London.

Farming on my farm, my house on the upper right.

What is neat about the farms is that you can purchase different looks – although you can’t customise, say, the placement of decorations on your farm, you can change the entire look of it. This is the same with houses. At the moment, you can only get two houses in-game, from quests. There are more in the Item Mall, though. They have the same levels as farms, with the lower level houses having one room and the higher two. Once you purchase a house certificate, you need to gather certain materials, from resource nodes or your farm, in order to start building. After you have gathered all the materials, you have to play a mini game, the higher the level of the house the more games you have to play. Lastly, you begin ‘construction’ (which works the same as gathering resources, just right click) – this tires out your stamina bar quite quick, so you need to take time to recuperate. Now you have a lovely house, and it is quite a cute system.

Furniture items can be won through quests, special events or made from recipes. At the moment, the amount of furniture available is VERY limited. This is annoying, as pretty much the main reason why I started playing was so I could build and decorate an epic house. Placement is neat – it works on a grid system – however you can’t rotate all items 360 degrees, which severely limits placement.

My house in HKO.

Pets

You can get a pet! These can be either rewarded through a quest, bought from a Pet Merchant, or won as a very rare drop off any mob in the game. You need to feed and pet them to keep their hunger and discomfort levels low (otherwise they may run away!) They follow you around, and as you gather resources they gain XP. As they level up, they provide bonuses to your stats – these aren’t really that important in HKO as you get to higher levels, so low-level pets aren’t too detrimental. Awhile after you’ve fed them, you need to “clean them”, for which you receive ‘pet jelly.’ When they needed to be cleaned, pets used to show an emoticon of steaming poop, but obviously there were complaints because after the last patch it was changed to an emoticon of shooting rainbows.

My ninja worm pet.

The Rest

There is not much to say on gathering and crafting – it is pretty self-explanatory and similar to other games. The GMs are a lot more visible in HKO than in other games – they generally hang out in Sanrio Harbour, and you can often find a large congregation of high-level players there chatting and helping out n00bs. In-game support is very good, and very quick, I generally get a reply in a few hours when I need assistance. The chat system can be a bit annoying to navigate, and private messages aren’t that noticeable. Particularly frustrating is that the character limit is very short, which makes conversing a truncated process.  There is no player market, which means you often end up with tons of stuff and you can only sell them to the vendor (you do have free storage on your farm), or you need a specific item but have to get it the hard way.  Money gathering is pretty easy, as there isn’t much to actually spend your money on.  You don’t really need high-level equipment (although it is helpful) and you can gather the materials for them and craft them pretty easy – there is no convoluted crit system.  In the two months or so that I have been playing, HKO has only had three or so down-times, which were solely to apply patches.  Game stability is very reliable.

HKO recently had a charity drive, where guilds participated in a competition and a percentage of in-game donations went to Haiti relief.  GMs often run various competitions, such as hide and seek and guess the NPC, which is a neat way to spice up the game.

Conclusions

I really want to like HKO.  It is pretty, the graphics lovely.  It is quirky but still easy to navigate, the player base is on the whole decent, and it is an interesting idea, the integration of game and socialisation.  It is free to play, and I don’t mind the idea of buying from the Item Mall (or as the practice is more commonly known, micro-transactions) since it is not something that I would probably participate in, anyway.  But HKO is just too empty.  There are hardly any cosmetic and housing items available, and certainly not in cohesive sets (something like what Pet Society has would be amazing.)  There is barely a main quest arc, although singular quests can often be quite funny.  The combat system needs a major overhaul and alternate methods of transport would be neat, but as the graphics stand right now, I think unfeasible.  (For those of you who have seen the preview, there are no flying mounts.)

There is no incentive for a high-level player to continue playing, unless one wants to grind for pet cards (a tiresome and never-ending process.)  Unlike other MMOs, you cannot nor ever will be able to grind for better equipment or stats, but it would be neat if you could grind for cosmetics, housing items or farms.

In conclusion, if HKO really is still in open beta, I am looking forward to seeing what it will be like when it is finally released.  As it is now, I probably won’t be returning to play until the next update, although I did enjoy my time playing.

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Every semester I tell myself that I am going to be more organised – I am going to revise every night and start my essays well ahead of schedule, I will not be remiss in studying for my exams and I am going to be Organised.  And every semester, I fail, and I end up a bundle of nerves and anxiety, wondering why I ever thought I would be able to succeed at university, and I should just throw it all in and go work in some miserable little office.

I was like that last week, and then, as soon as my essay was handed in and I was Free, my spirits lifted and I was happy.  In fact, I was looking forward to studying again, and to starting my new courses.  And I would like to keep that joy in me, that love of learning, and I know that I am going to have to effectuate a change in my behaviour in order to do so.

Thus, I have been thinking about how I previously acted, and the ways I have tried to manage myself (time management and I do not get along well) because obviously whatever I have been doing, while it may be right for some people, is terrible for me.

Firstly, I have decided to change my thought patterns.  Previously, I have always thought:  I have to do this.  I need to do that.  So when I don’t do this or that, I feel like I have failed, and  that there is no point trying any further, because obviously if I can’t complete this I won’t be able to complete that.

This also affects list-making.  High on most productivity lists is ‘to-do lists’.  The problem is, I get to the end of the day, and I have this whole list of things I absolutely should have done that day without a neat line through them, and I feel defeated and depressed and angry at myself, and racked with guilt.

So every time I catch myself thinking “I need to do this,” I am making myself automatically amend that to, “I would like to do this.”  Thus I am taking the pressure off myself, and not setting too high expectations.

I have a terrible memory, so I do have to keep a list, but instead I am heading it with “Things I Would Like To Do Today.”  Then if I don’t accomplish them, instead of adding them to the next day’s list and feeling overwhelmed by the increasingly-large list that seems to be yelling “Feed me, Seymour!” I put a line through the page and start the next day day afresh.

Secondly, I am trying to improve my study habits.  Proof that the first point is the most important, I tell myself “I have to study for an hour, and then I can take a break,” but I feel so pressured by this that I suddenly realise I have been watching the Crime channel with my mother for three hours and by this stage it’s nearly dinner and then I need to take a shower and maybe go for a walk with the dog and then I’m really tired so I might as well go to bed…  It is procrastination, too, but really I just need to be kinder to myself.

I have also, according to my boyfriend, conditioned myself into feeling sleepy whenever I try to study.  It is so true, and so frustrating!  I may feel full of beans, and then I sit down at my desk, and I am immediately yawning.  This also happens in university, I actually sleep in many of my lectures because I can’t physically stay awake any longer.  I am trying not to give in to this, however, as the only way to beat it is to condition myself out of it.  I also get into the habit of, “Oh, I’m tired, there’s no point studying when I am tired so I’ll just go play on the internet until I feel awake again.”  This does not work, so instead I am going to try to keep working through it, and take a quick break if I get too tired and do something physical like skipping, juggling or handstands, and then keep going.  I know that I can do so well, and I really want to, so I am not going to let habits of old stand in my way anymore.

Thirdly, I am going to get rid of all useless distractions in my life.  This means you, internet!  I am going to uninstall my StumbleUpon button on my browser.  I have deleted many rss feeds (not all!) and I am going to get rid of most of my livejournal communities.  I am also aiming to turn my computer off and get away from the television by 9.30, and ideally I’d like to make this 8.30 (I write all my essays out by hand and then type them up on the computer, so this is not so much an issue for me.)

I have been thinking about what makes me happy, and whether I am miserable doing something (such as playing on StumbleUpon for hours) because I think I shouldn’t be doing it in favour of something more productive, or whether it is truly something that brings me no joy.  I have spent most of this weekend feeling really sleepy and being crippled with cramps due to my period. Despite this, however, I feel very happy with how I spent my weekend.  Rather than browsing aimlessly on the internet just for something to do, I read an entire book, played computer games, and studied Greek in preparation for next semester.  I feel so much better, relaxed, content with myself, than I usually do.  I haven’t been putting pressure on myself to do this and to not do that, rather I simply was, and I found that I did what makes me happy naturally.  Watching television (not referring to watching a specific show that I enjoy, just ‘vegging out’) or constantly refreshing my rss feed does not make me happy, they are empty diversions that I engage in simply so I don’t have to make the effort to do anything.  This whole post is basically methods I am formulating to try and stick back together my fractured attention span.

Fourthly, André has bought me a Worry and Complain book.  Every time I worry about something or have a complaint, I have to write it down in this book.  It will help me become more aware of how often I worry about things, and then I can talk to him about them and I can see that they are not so important after all.  It is metallic pink, and he bought me pink and silver glitter pens to go with it!  I never, ever write in anything other than blue, black or red ink pens, so when I write with these I will be more aware of my actions, if that makes any sense.  Also he wanted to buy me unicorn stickers to go on it but they didn’t have any, so he bought me puffy lips and hearts and holographic Hannah Montana stickers.

Lastly, I am trying to get rid of everything in my life that upsets me.  I know that I can’t get rid of everything – because people will insist on listening to loud music on public transport or noisily chewing gum, regardless of what I have to say on the matter – but I can get rid of some things, and I can diminish others.

In this vein, I have seriously been thinking about closing the comments on my website.  André and I have had heated discussions on this matter.  1. – he thinks I will lose readers if I do.  To which I argue, well I have never, nor will I ever, look at my website stats or rss subscribers, so I won’t notice if I do or don’t.  2. – he thinks I will stop posting if I do.  To which I argue, I think I would post more, because I won’t feel the pressure of catering to an audience and I won’t get depressed about slaving for hours over something and feeling really proud of it, and then not having anybody appreciate it.  It’s like I’m throwing everything into a great abyss, and only my voice is echoing back, and at least if I choose for it to be that way I have no reason to be upset.  Also, I hardly ever comment on other people’s blogs, so I feel like I have no right to want nor solicit comments on mine.  And with my desire to cut back time spent on the internet, now is not a good time to start comment-whoring in the hopes of getting some back, a method I abhor anyway.  (note: not the same as commenting on someone you like’s blog, even if you have nothing to say, in the hopes they will visit you and maybe like you too.  AWKWARD DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION FTW.)

So those were my thoughts.  Maybe I will keep comments open on things like reviews, because I really do like discussion, but closed on most everything else.  I’m still thinking about it, though, as I haven’t closed comments yet.  Any other ideas?

Lastly lastly, I am doing five papers this semester, which is Not Advised unless you are a Good Student, which I so evidently am not (yet, although I have the potential to be.)  Additionally, three of those papers are language papers (two Greek, one French) and it is Also Not Advised to do more than one language at a time, so there is more pressure (which I am trying not to acquiesce to.)  I want to prove everyone who thinks that I can’t handle the stress and pressure of next semester wrong.

Lastly lastly lastly, the book I read this weekend was Frances Burney’s Evelina, which is SUPER AWESOME and if you like Jane Austen-ey books you should read it, and if you don’t you should read it anyway because it is way saucier than J.A. (baby I still love you.)  Also if you can read the Penguin edition edited by Margaret Anne Doody, the annotations are really good and make a lot of the sub-text (particularly the saucy bits) much clearer, and the introduction is really good (but you should read that last because it has ~spoilers.~)

(p.s. the full quote from the title of this post is: “O pray, Captain, don’t be angry with the gentleman for thinking, whatever be the cause, for I assure you he makes no common practice of offending in that way.”)

Lastly lastly lastly lastly, a preview of a costume my mother is making for me at the moment.  IF ONLY I WAS A COSPLAYER I would be so awesome.  Gold bikini Princess Leia with a potbelly, oh yeah.

And Gus.  We have this thing where he lies all cute and enticingly, so I lean over and nom his belly, and then he viciously mauls me head with his claws and teeth, and then I pretend I don’t hate him and he pretends he’s not a total asshole.

Today I also received a package from a Certain Other Blogger (I don’t know if she wishes to be named) and it is AMAZING and a SURPRISE and has the LOVELIEST mix-tape in it, and I have been grinning like a fool all day, it was so sweet.  How to reply!

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Click for bigger.  I really need to figure out how to use my scanner properly.  I am also disgustingly influenced by Egyptian art.

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Also last week in my European studies class we started economic integration, and I spent three hours last week staring blankly at the lecturer who only seems to be saying “bleh bleh bleh bleh.”  He is a really good lecturer and all, I just have NO IDEA WHAT HE IS TALKING ABOUT.  This is pretty much a first in my life for me, I am totally bewildered and lost and now I understand how people feel when I start pontificating about shit like the development of accenting in written classical Greek or whatever.  This section is worth about 50% of the exam and I REALLY don’t want to fail another paper, so I am slightly stressed.

In good news, I got a letter from my university saying I got ‘top student’ in comparative literature last year, which is neat/weird as I only did one paper, and it was one of my favouritist papers ever.  I received a $50 book voucher for the award, which is like half a textbook next semester yay.

My mother made me The Dress, as in my Dream Dress Had I Realised It Before I Got It.  Example:

I forgot to lift my skirt – it has a built-in petticoat which she decorated.  It’s nice to know that even your undergarments are pretty.  Also the lighting was really weird – my legs are actually the same colour as my arms, so I don’t know what is going on there…

I wore the dress to a concert I forced my boyfriend to take me to, the Cologne New Philharmonic playing pretty much all my favourite pieces of music – Four Seasons, Bach’s Concerto in D minor (BMV 1043), Pachelbel’s Canon (which was effin sublime, it is overplayed but when played well it slays me) and a Tchaikovsky cello concerto.  It finished with a Mozart concerto for flute, and I dislike both Mozart and the flute, so it was a bit of a downer for the end BUT THEN the lead violinst and the viola came out to play an unbilled encore, a duet by HANDEL lordy lou if they’d replaced Mozart with a Torelli duet it would have been my dream Baroque concert (not counting Tchaikovsky.)  I nearly cried several times, anyway, it was so beautiful.  I need to start playing the violin again.

Then on Saturday we ate fish and chips at Devonport beach (he ate fish, I ate potato fritters.)

The hamburger-pattie thing is actually a paua fritter GROSS I KNOW.

I am a slut for the lycopene, om nom nom.

Also on Friday we went out for dinner and I had the most divine crème brûlée with stewed rhubarb and vanilla ice-cream.  The caramel was a little burnt but otherwise delicious.  If you ever go to Devonport, eat at Manuka, they have great food and the serving staff are really nice and efficient (don’t eat at the Stone Oven, the serving staff are not and EVERY SINGLE TIME I go there they get my order way wrong.)

My mother has just finished making costumes for a New Zealand production based on the events of Apollo 13 (the pictures on the website aren’t the ones that she made, they’re the old crusty ones.)  If you have the chance to go you should because apparently it is AMAZING (I haven’t yet seen it, sadly.)  It calls for audience participation, so she made one of the suits for a female of my size (but with longer legs and arms since I’m a shorty, they’re rolled up in these photos.)  I look a bit silly in these pictures because I’m not wearing the gloves and boots, but the suits are incredible!  I have a clever mummy.

She told me to do an ‘action shot’ but you can’t really ‘action’ in these, they’re so padded, here is my pathetic attempt:

FIN.

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I am also a confirmed atheist.  I am not spiritual at all.  In saying this, I have a special love for old churches and cathedrals.  It is not so much that I think that the lord has embued the place with his essence etc., but more that the centuries of people praying and believing have left a mark on the place.  You can walk in and feel thousands of people’s love and belief in something greater than themselves, and it is a very uplifting feeling.

Despite not being religious or “in tune with the universe”, nor having a deep connection with music generally, there are some songs that are, for lack of a better word ’spiritual’ to me.  They each invoke different feelings for different reasons, but there is something lovely and special in each of them for me.

I have videos and descriptions of each piece, and you can download the whole collection in rar or zip format -- you know the drill, just for a preview of the artists, to delete within 48 hours, and if you like the music please support the original artists :)

The first is a piece by Bach, the middle piece of a concerto.  It is the song that inspires me to play the violin, so that one day I may be able to play such a wonderful piece of music.  It absolutely tears at my heart, and is melancholy and hopeful and sad and joyful and wistful all at the same time.

I am so envious of Sufjan Stevens, he is one of my favourite musicians and is talented to the nth degree.  I like this song, not only musically, but because of the lyrics -- “I can see a lot of life in you.  I can see a lot of bright in you.  And I think the dress looks nice on you.” Lyrics often seem so bland written down, but in the context of the song they are the loveliest compliments ever.

I love the movie 28 Days Later, and it may seem peculiar to have a song from a zombie movie on this list, but here you go.  It is actually a Catholic hymn, but I love the way it is sung, and it is such a sad part of the movie.  I do love traditional Christian music, and I think that is related to my love for cathedrals -- while I may not believe in a god, the creation of something to honour a deity you believe in utterly and have faith in its existence, is often so uplifting.

Björk.  She could sing the phone book and still send shivers up my spine.  She seems like she would be a fantastic friend, too -- if you don’t believe me look up the video of her about lying poets.

If you listen to only one song on this list, make it this one.  Broken Social Scene owns my life.

This is such a simple song, by Elliott Smith, but heart-breaking in its simplicity.  I think it is one song where you can hear how sad he was, and how tired of life.

I find Norah Jones’ face to be mesmerising, and I love how relaxed and quiet this song is.

Split Enz is one of New Zealand’s iconic bands.  They did a concert with the New Zealand Symphony Orchestra and released it as a CD, ENZSO.  This is, again, a simple song, and yet it says so much.  The original is nice too, but I have a special love for orchestral music.  It is quite slow, and then oh lordy, the great crescendo…  Perfect love song.

This song reminds me of being eighteen, skipping school and sitting on our sunny balcony all day drinking gin and being depressed.  The anthem of that time: “Maybe I’ve never really loved.  I guess that is the truth.  I’ve spent my whole life in icy clouds at altitude.  And looking down on everything, I crashed into his arms.  Oh Amelia, it was a false alarm.” Despite this, I still find this song beautiful and aching.  Every line is perfect, and this is surely a song that proves that some song-writers are truly worthy of being called poets.

Fiji Baby by Goodshirt is a peculiarly New Zealand song -- Hamilton is an in-joke here (sorry Hamiltonians, I’m from Auckland if it makes you feel better.)  It’s kind of like saying “Let’s go to Perth” for Australians except André says Hamilton is worse.  I’ve probably offended half my readership now, sorry…  It is a fantastic love song, anyway.

One of the worst things about living at the bottom of the world is that so many great indie bands never come to visit because it’s just not profitable.  On this list, I have seen Broken Social Scene, Regina Spektor and Andrew Bird, all of whom I highly recommend.  Regina Spektor is adorable and sweet and one of those perfect people who sound more wonderful live than she does on CD.  I love that she can make an amazing and powerful song mostly out of made up ‘ology’ words and repeated sentences.

I never really got into The Shins, maybe due to my dislike of bandwagoning, but this song is wet Sunday perfection.

Unfortunately I can’t find a video on Youtube for the next song.  It is Sunday by Sodastream, and has the most perfect acoustic guitar playing.  It is calming and soothes my soul.

I find it interesting how different Mike Kinsella is in Owen, compared to some of his other group work (e.g. Joan of Arc or Cap’n Jazz.)  He has such gentle guitar tunes and this song has wonderful, stab-in-the-back lyrics, coupled with one of my favourite lines ever -- “you don’t mean anything to anyone but me.”

The final song is one that never fails to bring joy to my soul, Ethiobirds by Andrew Bird, and I can’t believe I couldn’t find it on Youtube!  As I mentioned earlier, I have seen him live, and it was one of the most ecstatic moments of my life.  It filled me with the same sense of spiritual fulfillment I imagine people who have been touched by god feel.  He played this song, and it is absolutely incredible live, words cannot explain. He plays the entire thing, and loops parts of it over each other while still playing, it is hard to describe but if you play the violin you will understand how mind-blowingly clever and talented he is.

I would be happy to be stuck in a room with him for the rest of my life, listening to him play.

—

Do you have any songs that speak perfection to you?

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Cuuttttte anchor t-shirt.

Unfortunately the brooch I ordered arrived broken, and they’d sold out by the time  got it.  I emailed them to let them know and they refunded me, they have excellent customer service.

This spider started off as a little spider.  I very much appreciated his work in my room – it’s summer, so there are flies and mosquitoes and he noms them up for me.  Now, however, he has grown to be a very big spider and even though I know he is harmless he scares me the fuck out.  Anyone want to adopt him for me?  The smaller black thing is a wasp or something that he caught.

This week I made the yummiest thing I have made in a long time.  My favourite food of the moment, lemon potato and pumpkin, and roast tomato tartlets with pine nuts, goat’s feta and pesto.

I DROOL just thinking of it.  I’d dispatched André to the supermarket to buy the goat’s feta, and he’d bought a really expensive one, which turned out to be the most divine goat’s cheese I have eaten since I was in Paris.  If you live in New Zealand, it is by Puhoi, and I HIGHLY recommend it as an expensive treat.  It is soft and flavourful and not too salty nor too tart, and the most perfect texture.  This week I also bought a Puhoi camembert which was on special (New Zealander’s don’t know how to eat soft cheeses, so I only buy it when it is past its use-by date and half-price.)  IT WAS PERFECT.  And then today I bought a gorgonzola blue that they’ve just released, and it makes me groan in ectasy.  I spend half my grocery allowance on expensive cheeses.

More nummy food, homemade pizza!  Tomato paste base with garlic and basil, spinach, tomatoes, sundried tomatoes, olives, cheese, feta and walnuts.

I also decided to go back to bright pink, so I bleached my hair and wore red lipstick all weekend.  I’d originally gone back to light pink because I don’t like red lipstick with bright pink hair, and then realised that I never wear red lipstick (even though I have four) and bright pink looks better on me anyway.

My flatmate and I took his dog, Mack (the white one) and his friend’s dog, Dexter (the black one) to the park.  Guess which television shows their names are from?  They have a great love for balls.

Me standing on a high hill.

I have loads of jumping photos of Mack with me holding the ball, I know three is a lot but they are so hilarious and FILLED WITH GLEE I could not resist.  Also this is my site so I can do whatever the heck I want.

You can just see how much love he has for this ball in his face.  I know thinking animals “smile” is anthropomorphic projection, but how could you look at his face and not think he is smiling?  I really need to get a video camera and tape some of the stuff Mack does, he’s hilarious.  He is actually fully off the ground here.

Also, Mack likes snuggling.

This shot was WAY TOO BOOBAGE even for me, I was in my pyjamas and wasn’t wearing a bra and my top is rather skanky.  Hence censorship.

André and I decided to go to Takapuna (I don’t know why, there is NOTHING there) and while we were waiting for the bus we got (vegetarian) gelato om nom.  I am also wearing the other t-shirt I got from Dolly Dagger, J’aime Paris (although I think it should be J’aime le Paris?  I am not sure.)

That was actually our bus behind me so I had to stuff my face to finish it (and André ended up finishing it for me.)

We saw this puppy in a pet store at Takapuna HOLY SHIT CUTEST DOG EVAH.  It was a pomeranian chihuahua cross.  André said it was a mutant baby fox.

I thought it would be a good idea to go to the beach at Takapuna.  Epic fail, I hate sand.  This is my ANDRÉ THERE IS SAND face.

I have put on five (!!!!!) kilos over the holidays, and my love affair with cheese (and food) seems unlikely to assist me in losing this weight.  But lose it I must, as I now can’t fit 95% of my clothes and a few internet purchases recently aside, I can’t afford to buy a whole new wardrobe (I’m talking right down to underwear and bras, I am currently rotating between one of my mother’s old bras, and one I’ve had since I was sixteen and the elastic is gone in the back and one of the straps is held together with a saftey pin.)  HIGHLY IRRITATING.  I can fit two pairs of my shorts at the moment, but when the weather gets colder it is all over red rover as I can’t fit any of my jeans, tights, dresses or skirts.  ARRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH.  I promise no crazy lemon juice diets or yoga in an over-heated room, however.  Gaining weight and refusing to lose it is a luxury for the employed :(

Me and André after I threw a hissy fit at the sand and we decided to leave.  If we were in a Homeric epic, his epithet would be ‘long-suffering.’

I have also decided to try and overcome my social phobias.  A friend has invited me out to dinner with some other people.  The event is in March, which gives me time to prepare.  I have also made a formspring, which I have put off doing until now for the general omg people will be mean/NO ONE will ask me a question neurotic reasons.

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Making that connection was the smartest thing my cat has ever done.

This is Gus’s second-favourite seat in my room (first is my windowsill.)  It is worrying, because it is a set of shelves that cost me $3 at the Warehouse and he is a sturdy cat.

Gus loovvvvveeesss André.  He particularly loves sleeping on André’s legs.

A photo I took in December proving this.

If there is a piece of plastic in my room, you can guarantee Gus will sleep on it.

He also makes the funniest faces when he yawns.

Gus sitting on a plant-stand.  We had to take the plant off because Gus kept trying to jump up on to it.  No, he’s not about to jump/fall off.  He sat this way for about ten minutes.

Then he started grooming himself.

Gus went adventuring and came back COVERED in bindies.  This was my mother and I’s first go at getting rid of  them, and is about a third of the total amount we got out.  The fur and bindies are so stuck together mother says she is going to make drink-coasters out of them.

Gus sat under my washing for about twenty minutes.

Just sitting.

French homework also makes me sleepy, Gus.

I was having a nap on the couch and Gus decided to join me.  It’s hard to tell, but he is backed right up against my face, ending in me pulling Gus hair out of my nostrils for several hours afterwards.

Gus sleeping on a costume mother is making at the moment.  She needed a certain type of material for it, and the only place she could source it had the exact yardage she needed, with barely anything to spare.  She had cut all the pieces out of one costume, and came into her work room one morning to find Gus had walked over every piece with muddy feet.

Gus’s favourite seat, leaning on his best friend. Gus has such a beautiful tail.

Using the remote for a pillow.  Other things he has used as a pillow:  my laptop charger, a plate, books, half-rotten pumpkin… you get the idea.

Mother (as I grab my camera and run to the back door):  What is he doing now?

Me: Being cute!

Mother:  He’s… just… sitting there.

Me:  HE’S MY FIRST CHILD OK.

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I only did this one because I felt like playing around with watercolours.  Even though it was just a scribbly quick sketch, I actually quite like how it turned out.

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